


Don’t Let Me Leave

by growup_thatbeautiful



Category: Oceans 11, Oceans 12, Oceans 13, Oceans Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate universe - Mafia, Bby Linus Has Anxiety, Danny has self worth issues, Light Angst, M/M, Mafia AU, Minor Violence, Some angst, Tess the therapist but not really, They’re All Kind of Sad, minor descriptions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:01:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29443029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/growup_thatbeautiful/pseuds/growup_thatbeautiful
Summary: Danny’s a bad man. There’s a lot that he doesn’t deserve, and the support of his friends is one of those things.Starting a war against Terry Benedict doesn’t seem like a good idea, but then again they don’t really have a choice.
Relationships: Danny Ocean/Rusty Ryan, Isabel Lahiri/Tess Ocean
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. Repeat your parting words

**Author's Note:**

> my first oceans fic yay!! shout out to the hivemind for ideas and encouragement, i totally never would of written this without y’all 💕💕🥺

“You don’t have any friends?” Faces flash across Danny’s vision, unnamed kindnesses that people showed to him. Kindness that he probably (definitely) didn’t deserve. People he didn’t know. The stale light of the confession room grounds him as he shakes his head. Those were just ordinary people living ordinary lives. None of them knew what he was when they decided to trust him. Plus, this whole thing is easier if they know nothing. 

“You don’t have a family?” Mom screaming as her husband beats her. Debbie trying to fight back, Danny trying to get her to shut up and sit still. She’s still not very good at that, not having learned all these years. Luckily she’s gotten somewhat out of this life. No one dares to cross her and Lou, a formidable pair. Not someone you want to be up against. Danny would know. No, he doesn’t have any real family they need to know about. 

“He doesn’t have any known allies that we can track. Sir, I don’t think we have any legit reason to hold him here other than a suspicion that his father is the head of one of the major crime families in our city. 

“He’s not my father,” It’s the first time Danny has spoken since they took him in. If they’re surprised they don’t show it, too well trained to let Danny’s response phase them. 

“Looks like you’re finally ready to corporate Mr….?”

“Ocean.” They should know who he is. It’s a sign that something's off. Well, something more than usual. He volunteered to be the person out of the group to be alone late at work one night. Let the people who’ve been watching them for the past weeks take what they want, figure out a little more. “And I don’t know why you think I know anything. Even if Dennis, the man you call my father, was a crime boss he wouldn’t share his plan with a bastard like me.” Dennis has also been dead for years, but Danny’s positive they already know that. Best to seem like he thinks he’s tricking them. He is, but not the way they think. 

“We’re not interested in your father.” Danny shoots the man an unimpressed look. These guys can’t take a hint. That man is not his father.

“We’re interested in your recent activity with known criminals Rusty Ryan and Linus Caldwell, both the sons of major crime families. Are you working with them?”  
“I-“ They must think he’s stupid. 

“Please don’t waste our time with denials. We know it’s true. Tell us what you know and we’ll let you out of here unharmed.”

“Are you even allowed to do that? The government has rules that I happen to be well aware of.” Surprisingly, it’s not a bluff. Danny knows when to lie, and this is not a good time to do that. He’s been working with some guys in the government for years, learning their shit and staying one step ahead. It’s one of the main reasons he doesn’t get caught. 

“They’ve given us some personal liberties.” Well, that changes things. 

“You guys aren't the government.” He’s not asking. He’s been pretty sure they aren’t since they first took him into this room. It’s too clinical to be a government, it’s got too much bloodshed in its history. If they aren't the government the only reason they’d be interested in Danny is if they’re working with Terry. Which, okay, might actually be worse for all of them. The government doesn’t want to kill, it just wants money, maybe for them to stop making all of the government underlings look like fools. Terry Benedict, though, is a different story. He’s merciless and cruel towards his allies and a downright death sentence to anyone dumb enough to call themselves his enemy. Apparently now that’s Danny. 

“You’re Benedict’s guys then. Good. That makes me feel less guilty about what’s going to happen next. 

Nevertheless, I’ll give you a chance to get out before you get hurt.” 

“Your hands are chained up to the table, your legs to the chair, and you're unarmed. Unless that suit of yours is fireproof, you’re not going to get blown up. I’d say we’re in a good place here” They’ve gotten cocky, a great sign. It either means they actually don’t believe him, or they’re getting a little anxious. He’s guessing it’s the latter, based on the shifting of feet and the fluttering of hands. A common habit, one that he’s trying to teach out of his own men. Mostly Linus and Livingston, actually. 

“It’s up to you, but I wouldn’t take the chance. In a few minutes, my colleagues will come, and they aren’t as prone to forgiving as I am. You’ve heard of the twins I assume? They’re a force not to be reckoned with, and they've got a nasty competition going on who can collect  
the most kills.” Not necessarily true, but close enough. 

“And you already know I’m working with Rusty Ryan so that in itself might scare you shitless. Add in a couple of other names and no one will remember you existed.”

He can tell it’s working. It’s clear these men aren’t high level or anything, just pawns for Terry to use and throw away whenever. 

They don’t look as scared as they should be though. Honestly, they should be terrified. Even if they had a real reason to take Danny, starting a war isn’t a good idea. Not against Danny. He’s got connections, friends of friends who are loyal to the man who got rid of the tyrannical Dennis Parry. The man who raised him, and Danny’s first mission to kill. Once he was out from under the control of Dennis everything changed. Even if they were loyal to Dennis, they can’t just choose not to acknowledge Danny’s presence. Not when he’s got so many powerful people on his side. 

He didn’t get out of the business, no, you can’t just leave when you were raised by violence. Still, he’s more now. Better. He wasn’t lying before when he said he didn’t have any friends. He doesn’t. No, friends don’t come with this line of work. Family does. His gang, his family, are the men he spends his days with. He plays their names in his mind, counting the time till he can see them again.

He’ll, it hasn’t even been that long since he’s seen them. About a week, but that’s probably the longest he can stand. He needs reassurance that they’re okay, they’re safe and alive. 

See, he was supposed to be gone a day, maybe two at most. Not a week. He can’t stand that this is probably causing the rest of them more pain than this is causing him. Rusty alone in their apartment, sleeping on the couch like he does when Danny isn’t there. Linus is sitting in Danny’s office, running his fingers along the books on the shelf. The twins, well, they know how to pass the time, but there’s only so much they can take without direction. He hates it, loathes every second he’s here hurting them. 

Not that any of them ever get to know that he thinks about them like this. He cares about them so goddamn much, more than is normal for a boss to care about his employees. He doesn’t even consider them employees. 

Technically, they don’t get paid by him, they get paid by whoever’s funding Danny for the latest illegal scheme.  
It’s a good job. Pays well. Doesn’t get many benefits, but he doesn't really need them. He has enough people on his payroll not to need immediate help, plus it’s not like you can show up at a hospital with a gun wound, tell them not to ask questions and say “My job doesn’t give me insurance, it gives me nightmares and trust issues.” 

Not that he’s tried that. Linus has, but the rest of them covered up for him, then made him pay it back in manual labor. He was washing Rusty's car for weeks. It was gold.

Danny needs to focus. The men interrogating him don’t look nearly worried enough for this to work. Dammit, this is usually Frank’s job. Danny knows how to trick people, work them over till he gets what he wants, but Frank. 

Frank holds the power over people no matter where he sits. But Frank’s not here, and Danny is. And he has to walk out of here untouched. He’s got a reputation to uphold. The slightest of wrinkles in his suit, a speck of blood on his collar could be catastrophic, not only because it would lose respect but also because no one else would be able to focus. He has to look the part of a calm and collected man, one who has a plan and takes calculated risks. He hasn’t gotten this far by being lazy. 

“I bet Terry wouldn’t even notice I’m gone. I mean, I doubt he’s actually interested in me. All you guys know is I’m a petty thief. What’s the loss if I walk out of here?” 

The two men look at each other. Danny knows they’re considering it, knows he’s got them about where he needs them. 

“If Terry really wanted to hurt me he'd be down here himself, spitting in my face and pissing in my eye.” Or whatever else monsters as Terry does. Not that Danny isn’t necessarily a monster himself. He’s long since given up on reigning in the violence in his life, but he’s not cruel like Terry. He won’t kick a man when he’s down. 

Compared to the ways of Terry he’s practically an angel.  
The taller of the men walk towards Danny, eyeing him warily. He unlocks the handcuffs around his wrists and ankles, and Danny feels the cold slide of the medal fade away. He rubs gently at them to get the circulation starting again and to show that he’s done this before.  
Grinning at the men, he walks out into the hallway, unchained and unscathed. He nods at the guards who are standing at the door, noting their confusion and choosing to just keep walking. 

Right, now he needs to figure out where he is. He wasn’t as unconscious as they thought he was when they first took him, but that was a week ago, and he’s not sure if he’s remembering correctly. Not that it really matters. There’s been a tracking device on him for a while, embedded one of the buttons in his dress shirt. It’s one of Livingston’s creations, and it’s virtually impossible to find if you haven’t seen one like it before. 

He’s in some sort of business district. There are tall buildings that look similar to the ones in his area, so he’s pretty sure he’s still in Vegas. 

He decides to play it cool and just walk around, hopefully letting them know that he’s out. Once he’s a few blocks away, he leans against the brick wall, soaking in the sun and idly running a hand against the rough brick. Rusty should be picking him up soon, that was the plan. He goes in for a week, plays the victim, and walks out hopefully untouched. If they wanted him dead or seriously injured he would be by now. It’s been a fairly painless experience.

Looking back the hardest part had been convincing the rest of them that it was okay for him to go. Linus had been vehemently opposed, and Danny had learned as soon as he was about to go that Rusty hadn’t been so keen to let him go either. A quick whispered “I don’t want you to go, so you better leave now,” in his ear when he was saying goodbye, an extra long hug and a lingering touch on his arm were all he got. Then he was gone, and he hates to admit it but he’s fucking scared. They could all be okay, but Danny isn’t that lucky. He could come home, crazy how their apartment building is home, to find bodies on the floor, threatening and chance of a partially happy future for him. 

A human can only take so much bloodshed before they stop being human, and Danny’s scared of what can happen to him if he gets there. The only person who really knows about it is Rusty. And Tess, of course, but she knows everything about him. She’s basically the therapist, mom friend, and caretaker for all of them, along with being one of the deadliest negotiators and art appreciators. She wasn’t born into a family like Danny’s or Rusty’s, but she’s made quite a name for herself. She’s somehow remained one to the kindest and most terrifying person he knows. He’s lucky to have her around. She probably should have stopped putting up with his shit a while ago. 

Danny hears the honk of a car horn and forces himself not to jump. He looks towards the sound. A breath of relief goes through him at the sight of Rusty, leaning against the car, drink in hand. 

Danny walks over to him that he strictly has to, grabbing at the first part of Rusty that he can. Danny can feel Rustys fingers digging into his neck, and he assumes he’s not much better. 

Rusty’s voice comes muffled from where it’s buried in Danny’s shoulder. “I thought-“

“I know. I’m sorry.” Danny’s voice is weaker than he wants it to be, betrays the way he’s felt trapped and alone these past hours, days. 

“Not your fault.”

“Still. Didn’t like it.” Rusty pulls Danny down to get into his car, looking around before starting the engine. 

“Home?”

“Yeah, Russ, let’s go home.”


	2. You could do better than us

Days later Danny is sitting in his office, still trying to figure out how to beat Terry at his own game. Danny’s got more allies and, let’s be honest, he’s smarter than Terry. But Terry has the money and scorched earth tactics that Danny won’t go near. They’ve been at it for hours, Danny’s office is full of half-formed plans, stale air, and what seems like dozens of Rusty’s plastic cups. Danny’s asked him to clean them up, but it doesn’t usually work. Not that he really minds. 

“We can just, like…blow him up? That's an easy way out.” Basher’s laying on the floor, his feet up against Danny’s desk. 

“Basher, as we’ve said before, we can’t do that without bringing down even more hell on us. We kill him and it’s over for all of us.” Rusty answers Basher from where he’s sitting against the wood of Danny’s desk. 

“You guys can go home now. It’s late and we’ve got another day of trying to figure this shit out. Remember to check your floor before you do anything else. Don’t get lazy, stay safe.” They might as well have a break, it’s not like they’re getting anywhere. 

“Linus? Can you stay back?” Rusty’s voice calls him to pull his head out from his hands. Linus is obviously nervous, which is odd because Linus doesn’t really get nervous around them anymore. But Danny doesn’t say anything about it because he knows that Linus’ anxiety isn’t something he can talk or order away. Tess is working on it with him, trying to get him to where he can sleep better and not have as many attacks. 

Danny knows that this is a conversation that they have to have with Linus. It’s not a fun one, and Danny isn’t really looking forward to it at all. It’s for the best good of Linus that they talk about this. 

“Yes?” Linus, Rusty, and Danny are the only ones left in the room. Everyone else took the chance to clear out when it was offered, knowing better than to stay when they could leave. Under any normal circumstances, Danny would go hang out with the rest of them, have a few drinks, and blow off some steam. Make fun of Linus, start a fight between the twins, eventually get the irresistible urge to climb Rusty like a tree. It’s a cycle, and he’s not happy that he doesn’t get to do it this time.

“Your dad’s been wanting us to talk to you about something.” Danny tries to soften the blow, tries to speak in a softer tone. Danny knows Linus’ relationship with his dad is tense, not a healthy relationship by any means. 

Danny can sympathize with that. 

“What does he want?” Linus sounds weary and tired, much too tired to be as young as he is. 

“Don't worry, if it wasn’t worth your time I wouldn’t be telling you about it.” The whole group has been making sure Linus doesn’t hear anything about his dad, keeping those memories as far away as possible. Truth is, Bobby Caldwell cares about his kid. Not a single person could doubt that, but he also doesn’t know Linus at all. “He wants you to know that, if it’s something you want, he’s willing to pay the money to get you out of here.” 

“What?” Jesus, Danny is not good at this. He doesn’t know what to say or how to say it. Luckily, Rusty always knows his shortcomings before he does. 

“This business, this world. If you don’t want to stay you don’t have to,” Rusty’s voice is gentle, not a tone he gets to use often. That’s a thought that Danny’s going to not let go of anytime soon. 

“Linus, you’re the one person here with a chance to get out.” Danny doesn’t want to say it, but it needs to be said. The rest of them either are too far gone or too experienced to get out, but Linus isn’t, He’s just a fucking kid, no matter how old he is. 

“I know.” Linus sounds surprisingly, like this is something he’s thought about. “That’s why I won’t do it.” It’s not common that Linus just straight up says no. 

“Why not? You could get out, start a life. Have a functioning family. Stop living an excuse of a life.” 

“I can’t just leave. I can’t be alone like that. I know that’s how the rest of you work, but not me. You guys all think love is a conflict, it can’t happen under the circumstances we live in, but that’s just so incredibly wrong.” Danny doesn’t actually think that love is some issue that needs to be solved. There’s no reason they can’t love, look at him and Rusty. But he understands what Linus means. “I’m not going to give this up. I’m not going to be alone.” 

His voice breaks, along with and resolved Danny had to make Linus leave. This man, no, boy, cares so deeply that he would give up his future for a now that’s going downhill. They’re getting into some nasty shit and Linus’ stupid ideals won’t let him go somewhere better, safer. Because, because-

Because they’re his family. Except it isn’t that simple, can’t be that simple because every single one of them knows that being family doesn’t mean shit. Blood isn’t something that connects you. He knows from experience that it’s more commonly used to hurt, manipulate. 

Danny always thought he would be alone in the end. Now he has this family, not that he’s asked for it or deserves it. 

“The only reason my dad can offer to do that is his money, right?” Danny looks up at Linus, who’s got that contemplative look on his face he gets sometimes. 

“Yeah?” 

“So why don’t we use that against him?” Danny is usually pretty good at following people, but he’s not really sure what Linus is getting at. He looks at Rusty for help, but he just shrugs. 

“We don’t follow.”

“Terry. If we use it against Terry. In our world, and in almost any world, money is where all the power is. If we take that away…”

Rusty starts, “We take away-“

“Terry’s power.” Danny finishes Rusty’s thought, a smile forming on his face. Linus looks excited, Rusty has that smirk on his face that means he’s getting ideas. 

“We’re a bunch of fucking idiots, aren’t we? God, how did we not come up with this earlier.” 

“It’s late. We should wait till tomorrow when everyone else is here to discuss the rest of the details. See you later, kid.” Linus knows a dismissal when he hears it, not that he minds. They’re all equals here, and Danny really does legitimately want to go to sleep. Once he’s gone Rusty moves to sit on the edge of Danny’s desk, and Danny sits beside him, leaning lightly against each other. Like they’re each scared of breaking, like they’re worth it. They just might be. 

“This could work. We just need to find out how to hit him the hardest, and make sure he doesn’t know it’s us.”  
“Or make sure he can’t stand back up when he’s down. He can know it’s us if there’s no way for him to get us back. No loss of our lives is worth it.” Thankfully Rusty doesn’t acknowledge the last part of Danny’s answer, knowing better. 

“I have an idea.” 

“No one gets hurt?”

“No one gets hurt,” he agrees, relaxing against Rusty’s shoulder and ignoring how tightly they’re fingers are laced together in between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise it gets less sad


	3. don’t leave me just yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> group shenanigans at the beginning, angst at the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh i’m sorry ahahah
> 
> have fun? ooh tess is in the chapter tho!

It turns out they really are fucking idiots. How not a single one of them figured out to hurt Terry’s monetary value without having a breakdown he doesn’t know. When Rusty tells them the plan that all state at the pair of them for what seems like forever before looking around, smiling, and declaring that they’re in. 

Once they’ve all declared their loyalty (they didn’t really have to), Danny starts to tell them the rest, “Right, so first things first. We should-“ 

“Turk, that means you should go last.” 

“Not your best work, dude. I recommend thinking before you talk next time.” 

“Thanks for that, boys, but I think we’ll leave the bickering for karaoke night,” Rusty interjects, well practice in the twins’ cat fights. Okay, so not a strong start, but they’ve honestly had worse. 

“Thanks Rus. Alright, so, we’ve got a lot to plan for. We should get started as soon as possible.”

“Let’s go over assignments. Reuben, you’ve obviously got all our connections. Anything we need to get has to go through Reuben, no exceptions. It’s best if we get as many different crime families in this as possible. so they feel involved.

“Rusty’s got us covered with guns and ammunition. He’s the one who knows where to get that shit and who to trust. Just, nobody fuck with Rusty for a while, got it? We need him in a good mood.

“Basher, keep all of our guys in line. Anything that needs to be done I trust you to get it done, and I’m encouraging you to use force when necessary enforcing the rules and such.

“Linus, get us all the possible information you can, we’re gonna need it. Security systems, night watches, personal assistants, what time Terry gets uo, the way he takes his coffee. Nothing can be left out. If one of his clerks is scared of his ex-wife. use it.” 

“Livingston, you’re the usual. Cover out tracks, no one can know what we’re doing. Switch the money around, make us new identifications, I don’t really understand what you do so just, you know, do your usual shit.

“Twins, you’re the other side of Livingston. Cover our tracks physically and silence anyone you think’ll talk. We can’t have Terry know what’s coming, and we can’t have him trace this back to us.

Saul, we need an inside man. Of course, that’s going to be you. We know Terry doesn’t trust a single soul, so we’re hoping we can get you at least in the building. More details on that to come with Linus’ information. 

Frank, use your powers to get us what we need. Negotiations between families, alliances, enemies. All that messy shit is yours to clean up. 

And finally, Yen. We all know your strong suit is being an intimidating force, so-“ Danny can’t finish his sentence before Yen’s ever predictable “Fuck you” reaches his ears. 

“Kidding. With the information Linus provides, we’re going to find a way to sneak you in. Don’t worry, I can almost guarantee it’s going to be a tight fit. Any questions?”

“You didn’t actually tell us a plan,” Frank points out, the rest of the group nodding along. 

Rusty speaks up. “Danny was just about to get there.   
Here’s what we’re going to do. It’s a pretty simple idea, and we should be able to-“

“Just tell us the fucking plan.” 

“Thanks, I love being interrupted. What I was trying to say is that most of Terry’s money comes from his underground casinos. If we can stop people from going there, we cut off his money and his power.” 

Danny takes over. “Now, what are the reasons you stop going to an illegal casino? Well, obviously if the police show up there multiple times to look around you won’t go, but I’m not sure we have the power for that. If the booze stops then people will no longer be interested, but again, highly unlikely for us to stop that.

“So, what we have left is-“

“Murder?” 

“Saul, no.” 

“We can’t directly hit the casinos. It’s too predictable and too risky, and in the long run it won’t end up hurting Benedict as much as we want,” Rusty explains. 

“We need to distract him, make him sloppy. So, what are out possible distractions?”

“Explosions?”

“Don’t sound so excited, Bash,” Linus retorts, amd Basher shrugs, not at all sorry. 

“Unfortunately we need something more prominent and long term. Something that’ll hit him hard. He absolutely cannot be focusing on his money, which is almost impossible.” 

“Almost.” 

“What’s if we hurt or kill his family?”

“That’s a no go. Man doesn’t care too much about family or anything not business related. So we distract him where he’s strong. If we can get the major crime families to call a meeting specifically against Terry, then we be assured that his focus will be on cleaning up any loose ends he might have, and not on his money.”

“Or not on the money that he keeps in his business center/home. He will always remain attached and aware of the money in his casinos, it’s like second nature, but if we’re able to hit him where he lives he will no longer be respected. If he tries to fight out of it and say that he was distracted because of the meeting, he can’t give a good reason why because he should have nothing to hide from his fellow criminals.”

“Bingo.” 

~~~~~~~~

Danny’s not surprised everything is okay. Well, not everything, but most things. They got the money from Terry, so that’s a bright side, but it’s hard to focus on that while they’re driving away at top speeds, followed closely by Benedict’s most intimidating assassins. 

Getting the money had been relatively easy compared to the shit they’re having to deal with now that they have it. It’s been two days and Terry is still sending threats, both in literature and actually three are such as bombshells and bloody knives. Danny’s half expecting a horse's head. 

They’re being closely followed by gunfire, not that any of it can get thorough. With him in the car is Linus and Rusty, both of whom are cussing out Terry and Danny together, which seems a little uncalled for, but Linus isn’t having an attack and Rusty is laughing because he’s trying to find out more and more foul things to call his boyfriend. It’s not bad actually. For them. He’s the one driving. 

They’re able to make it to their building, and not even the bravest of herod would dare follow them into their own home, so he thinks they’re safe. 

Until they walk inside. There’s an unfamiliar woman standing at the front desk, which alerts Danny immediately because they don’t let random people in here. But it’s too late, because she’s pulled out a gun and Danny’s ears are ringing and Linus is yelling. She gets take. down by some security guard almost immediately, but it isn’t enough, it’s never enough. 

Rusty is in the ground, shaking as blood pools around him, a stark contrast against the white marble. Danny runs towards him, but he’s moving through molasses, and time is going too slow and he needs to get to Rusty, he has to make sure Rusty is okay. Which. Is absurd because Rusty’s been shot, and he’s not okay but Danny can’t, no, won’t think about that. 

He’s kneeling beside Rusty, who looks shocked more than anything else, but there’s pain in his eyes and Danny can’t fucking stand it because his guy is hurt and he can help. Why is there so much blood? Has it always been this way or is Danny just never this close. He practically rips Rusty’s shirt off to see the wound, feeling around his back for an exit point. Please God let there be an exit point. 

But Danny’s not that lucky. He knew from the moment he saw Rusty’s face that it was bad, and now he’s pushing Rusty to stay down, trying to figure out how to get him upstairs where there's a doctor. Rusty’s shirt is stained red, it looks black. Rusty’s loved that shirt. No, loves. He’s not gone yet

Yet.

Why is there so much blood?

~~~~~~~

“What does the world look like if my eyes are closed?”   
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Basher’s tone is weary, most likely assuming Danny’s in shock. Unfortunately he’s not. His mind is clear, and thoughts of Rusty are unavoidable. 

“It’s got to be better than seeing everything.” Danny’s eyes are closed, forcing himself to live the moment over and over. Rusty’s blood all over his suit, pooling underneath him. Slipping through Danny’s finger, Rusty’s breathing hitched, whispering silent apologies and comforts. Like he knows he can’t save himself but he can save a part of Danny. He must not know that all the good parts of Danny belong to Rusty. 

He opens his eyes. “Or maybe not.” He stops talking, only to calm Basher down, who looks like he’s either going to tackle Danny or give him a hug. Danny would much rather him go with the first option. He would cry if someone gave him a hug. 

“Danny?” Tess’s voice is frantic. She just got here, he can tell, not that she looks she just woke up and ran here. She’s always been beautiful under pressure. “I heard about Rusty.” 

She doesn’t say anything more. There’s not anything more to say. 

He scoots over on the hard metal bench, leaving room for her. She takes her seat next to him, and grabs his hand from where it was biting into the metal, effectively stopping him from hurting himself. She’s frowning. 

“You know, I used to never wake up to fire alarms. Slept right through them, didn’t get out of bed. Told myself if there was a real fire I would know. Now though, now I wake up when Isabel comes home. I wake up if there’s a car alarm going off stories below, or if someone’s watching a movie too loud. This life has unexpected consequences. That’s the only part that you can expect. I couldn’t prepare for that, and I can’t make myself not do it. You can’t change what happened, and you couldn’t have prepared for it to happen either.” 

Danny let’s some of his facade slip and leans his head against her shoulder, but he doesn’t cry. He can’t cry while Rusty’s still alive. 

Linus, as Danny sees later, isn’t so good. Jesus, Danny had been so focused on Rusty that he didn’t think to check on Linus. 

The boy who flinches when things get too loud, who won’t watch movies with blood and insists on having group facetime if they can be together. Linus who has anxiety attacks frequently and nightmares about once a week. The first one to ask “Are you okay?” and the last one to go to sleep. 

When Danny finds him he’s sitting in Danny’s office on the floor, his head in between his knees, shaking. Danny feels like he should go get Tess, who’s been helping Linus throughout his trials, but Tess isn’t here, Danny is. 

Danny doesn’t say a word as he slides down next to Linus. He strokes Linus’ arm like Rusty does when Danny gets anxious, and tries to exude calmness and comfort, like he feels either of those things. He waits patiently for Linus to pick his head up and look at him through watery eyes. Linus can’t seem to speak, doesn’t quite get the words out but Danny knows what he’s thinking. 

“It wasn’t your fault.” 

“I could’ve done more recon, I could’ve-“

“No. You can’t do that to yourself. You deserve better and so does Rusty. He would never, never blame you. He knew the risks just as well as we did. He just got hurt.”   
“But-“

Danny shakes his head softly, trying to get Linus to understand something he doesn’t understand himself. “We can’t change it. We can’t make that bullet change it’s path or tell Rusty to stay home that day. It’s done.”

“I wish it was me. It would be better if it was me, easier for everyone,” 

“Don’t say that, it’s not true. We all care about you, we give a shit about you. Who cares if some of us have known Rusty longer or are more similar to Basher. You’re one of us. We’re going to stay with you.” 

“We can’t lose him.” 

“We might have to.” 

~~~~~~~

Rueben sits down at the bar next to Danny, raising his glass to cheers. “It’s bad luck if you don’t take a sip after you drink, you know.”

Danny obediently takes a sip, done testing the divinity of higher beings. He isn’t done being a shit though. “What could we possibly have to cheer for? Rusty can’t get out of bed, the twins are, for once, not fighting which is somehow worse than when they are, Linus’ anxiety is back and higher, getting worse with every passing day, Livingston’s self confidence is back down, our resident optimist Basher has stopped being optimistic, and that’s only covering half of us.”

“Yeah, well we’re all alive, aren’t we? Terry sure tried his best, but he couldn’t beat us down enough to stop us. Isn’t that enough? We got what we wanted, now we’re paying the price. Hell, we might have to pay this price for the rest of our lives, but at least we all got through it.   
Can’t that be good enough?”

“Was it worth it, though?”

“I hate to be the one to say it, but there’s no one else here who can decide that. Do you think it was worth it, Daniel?” 

“I don’t know.” It’s true. Yeah, Terry’s off their asses, but, like Reuben said, they could be paying for the rest of their lives. 

“I suggest you find out.” 

~~~~~~

Danny’s at the side of Rusty’s bed, like he usually is these days. He’s directed all his calls here, they have meeting here. He can’t leave, because he was to make sure that Rusty’s going to stay. He can’t leave, not yet and Danny’s sure as hell going to be here when he inevitably wakes up. Or, you know, doesn’t wake up. 

Right now he’s reading a book at the bedside table, something Rusty had wanted him to read for a while that he had never gotten to before. Everyone says Rusty’s going to be okay, but Danny doesn’t get lucky. He gets his hopes up and his heart ripped out. 

Not being able to resist, he runs a hand through Rusty’s hair, trying to get it to do that front-spikes thing that Danny thinks looks stupid on everyone else, but it only works when Rusty does it. 

But there’s a hand weakly grabbing his and beautiful eyes searching his face and a smile more familiar than his own looking up at him and he forgets to complain about the hair or the boring book or the uncomfortable chair. 

“Hope you didn’t miss me too much.” 

Yeah, it was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMSORRY OKAY OKAY OKA
> 
> so i know i said, like a fool, that this chapter wouldn’t be as sad but that obviously didn’t happen 
> 
> but rusty’s okay!! and linus is too!! also two chapters in one day, power outage legit legit legit


End file.
